The Pre-Apocalypse Plan

With all the current eco-friendly, Save the Trees, “Go Green” lifestyle stuff being a huge hit for magazine sales, sometimes I am left wondering; Do people realize that this is natural?

I mean it is proven that the Earth’s climate changes are cyclical in nature. We have a few thousand years of happy fun times, and a few thousand years of ice. That’s right, ice. An Ice Age to be exact. Followed by a crappy sequel, Ice Age 2, with just a brief intermission of what we call, “The Human Race.” It’s like the Earth’s enormous reset button.

So, I am left to wonder. Obviously this Ice Age that we are coming upon isn’t going to happen until our great-great-great-grandchildren’s great-great-grandchildren have great-great-You get the idea. But when that does happen, what will the human race do to survive? I mean, humanity has survived for this long, I hardly think an extended winter’s going to put it out of commission.

So aside from extraterrestrial colonization, which is the most likely solution, my first instinct was, “Burrow.”

I am driving in my car, pondering the logistics of a completely self-sustaining underground society, capable of living for the thousands of years of Ice Age without starving, running out of oxygen, inbreeding diseases that wipe us out, killing each other off from cabin fever (Heeeeere’s Johnny!), etc.

My initial logistical insertion was Reproduction Control. Someone would have to monitor and control who could have children, and when.  As totalitarian as this sounds, overpopulation would lead to starvation, and underpopulation would lead to… well… no population. Kinda what we’re trying to avoid here.

Food would have to be diverse. Plants and animals would have to be kept, grown underground. There would have to be some form of mass-false-sunlight, for two reasons. One, so that food could grow. Two, we would need those plants to keep manufacturing our oxygen.

How big would it be? How much space would you need for crops and livestock? How would you screen who lived in the society and who died above ground? Would you allow expansion? Would you forbid religion? Leave us your comments, suggestions for my secret lair- I mean, hypothetical survival society.

-Mekhami

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10 Responses

  1. I don’t think this is too possible, obviously, with all the limitations that we would have to overcome. Once the second Ice Age hits, whenever it does, we will simply die out as a species over a course of a couple generations, but our presence, just like the Wooly Mammoth, etc have fossil records or insects are preserved in the ice deep in caves. Whatever intelligent species, if any, would only know of us through the artifacts we leave behind. Survival in such a time would simply be a difficult if not impossible task in such a world. Unless the Ice Age comes in a gradual 1000 year long onset, we have little chance of continuing on as a species, or evolving, simply because we have limited resources and will be unable to sustain long enough for natural selection to prune out those best fit to survive. This can only occur if we are able to stockpile vast amounts of resources and manage your plan for several hundred years. Only in this way, we would be able to evolve and live on, maybe as a different species entirely. My bet is that we would die out after the Ice Age anyway, or be eliminated during.

    My $0.02

  2. My point is that we wouldn’t have to stockpile enough resources for 1000 years. We’d just have to stockpile the necessary things to keep producing more and more of the stuff we need underground. We’d have to be self-sufficient. Growing crops, planting crops from the crops we just grew. Breeding animals, butchering them (at a controlled rate) breeding them somem more. Everything would be managed in a way that we don’t need anything outside of our underground society.

  3. You would have to stockpile enough to get started and have a pretty flawless plan, because if your plan fails, everyone dies. This would have to be as precise planning as how to create artificial light, what would you use to power it? Where would the water come from? What about earthquakes. What kind of plants would you use?
    The biggest question would be how to convince enough people that the ice age was coming to get them to start answering all of the questions.

  4. My current thoughts are:
    Artificial Light (I’m assuming you mean for Photosynthesis) – We already know how to create UV and artificial sunlight on the micro level. By the time the Ice Age comes along, I’m sure the macro level will be a breeze.

    Water would probably come from the infinite ice above us. A certain cordoned off area of the underground would be used for water production. Very carefully controlled melting.

    Earthquakes, my first instinct is, there are earth-quake proof skyscrapers, and those things are tall and unstable as it is. I imagine making earth-quake proof undergrounds wouldn’t be so complicated to an architect. Buffer zones, plenty of expansion rooms.

    We’d have to have all sorts of plants. Virtually everything we have above-ground. Enough grass/wheat/fodder for the animals, and enough vegetables/fruits for the vitamins and minerals we’d require on a daily basis.

    But to your last point, there is no answer. I just hope someone big and important says it really really loudly when the time comes.

  5. The biggest problem with an underground civilization would be population. I mean, already the surface is crowded, so underground would be even worse. And what would happen if there was a fire?

  6. The number of people allowed underground would be very restricted and controlled. Then the Ice Age comes and everyone upstairs is dead anyway. So you just work on preserving and balancing the downstairs population.

    It would be a big enough area (I’m thinking, Dallas Metroplex area sized.) that a fire wouldn’t threaten the whole population, and there of course would be fire controls all over the place.

  7. Well, you certainly couldn’t take everyone underground. Who gets to go and who has to perish? Who decides? Who controls the desparate abandonees to stop them destroying the underground country?

  8. that’s one of many moral dilemmas involved with maintaining stable community. The initial screening process would have to exclude violent criminals, people with destructive natures, religious people in general, and anyone else that might interfere with long term survival.

    Other dilemmas include birth screening. All babies would have to be screened for potential genetic weaknesses, and probably killed. People lacking reproductive capabilities (genetically) would be a waste of supplies. Do you let them live?

  9. Here’s the answer:

    Go south… duh.
    A so-called “Ice Age” supposedly happened in the past. If it be true, then it says that the whole earth was not frozen. If another one somehow happens to come, we’d probably have Star-Wars Hoth-style buildings and live there. Of, course, the idea of an “Ice Age” is completely absurd.

    How would one start?
    Was it just an exaggeration from the past? (like the ancient Egyptians experiencing a slight “Global Cooling” like our fake “Global Warming” )
    Is it really possible to have temperatures somehow to drop then go back up?

    If you can’t answer the above questions with a clear, evidence-supported Yes or No, please stop believing it.

  10. You’re a fool. You attack without knowing anything. Scientists know for fact that the Earth’s climate is cyclical in nature and has repeatedly gone through periods of normalcy and Ice Age. It is what happens.

    Asking me to stop ‘believing’ it is like asking people to stop ‘believing’ in Global Warming.

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