Archive for the ‘Mekhami’ Category

Cello is my medicine.
September 8, 2009

Cello has become my medicine; I went through my toughest breakup three months ago, which was completely my fault. Mistakes I’ll regret for the rest of my life, probably, but nonetheless life moves on and I can’t just sit in place and bemoan my loss. What I’ve found in the last three months is that, my thoughts and emotions get in the way of each other and make me say, do things that I don’t mean and wish I could take back.

In the same three months I’ve discovered incredible growth in my musical ability. I’m principal of my orchestra, I’m an upper divisional player now, and I’m experiencing musicality and my work is being complimented by the toughest of the Russian faculty. These two events are not mutually exclusive.

I’ve found that, like I said previously, my thoughts and emotions get in the way of each other. I’ll sit in my room, I’ll finish a game of starcraft, do whatever it is I’m doing, but when I’ve got nothing to do, my thoughts go to her and to my emotions, to the heartbreak I’ve experienced and every reason I have to hate what I went through. This was incredibly unproductive, detrimental to my emotional health.

I didn’t realize that I could be channelling this into my playing. Now forget what you just assumed, that my emotions would come out through the cello and I’d be removed from them, because I don’t consciously let the emotions affect my playing. Instead, I practice.

I try to practice four hours at a time with lots of one minute breaks. Two hours of that four are spent working on a technical goal, working on learning and perfecting a piece of music and learning musicality and color and tone and experimenting with the beautiful instrument. This is the source of my progress, pure time spent on the instrument learning what to do with it.

The other two hours I let my brain relax. I play through music, over and over, passages that I love to play. While I’m doing this though my mind isn’t focused on the music; it’s half-consciously letting my emotions into it, I play harder, faster, stronger, sweeter, depending on what I’m thinking about; again, none of this consciously. But what this does is, it frees up my mind to work through, consciously, the emotions and stress that I have going on in my life, I work through them, put them in their proper place, and leave my 5 by 5 cubicle room feeling very cleansed and reorganized.

Cello has become much more powerful in my life in recent months, and i’m very glad for it.

I’m Out
January 22, 2009

by pegleghippie

This blog hasn’t been updated in a month, and I am heretofore committing myself to not updating it, with the exception of this post.  

What I’m saying is I’m done blogging, at least for a while.  Neither I nor Mekhami update often enough to have a normal readership, and our #1 fan,Pendel, has fallen off the face of the earth.  

I’ve been told that I’m a pretty good writer, but I want to be better, more diverse.  This blog has been great for my writing skills, as well as a place where I can organize my thoughts about any given subject, but I want to grow my writing in different ways now.  That means writing longer things, maybe some fiction things, poetry, who knows?  I just don’t want an audience just yet for the inevitable failed experiments.  

I may show up in the future, either on this blog, or on a new one.  I’ll still read blogs, and I promise my comments will be epic, they just won’t be centralized.  

All thanks and love goes to Mehkami, who started this thing, encourages me always, and has played devil’s advocate plenty of times.  Any drafts that I have I hereby give to him to do with as he wishes, and buddy, if you ever want me to edit a post or help you with an idea, of course I’ll be there for you.

The Divisive Power of Religion
November 5, 2008

Or, why I hate Christians, Jews, and Muslims. (Not so much on the Muslims. They keep pretty well to themselves.) (Or the Jews really. I just hate Christians.)

This election has brought out the worst of the religious fiends. Obama is not the anti-Christ. But they’ll have you believe he is! Massive numbers of Facebook statuses out there today with hateful messages like, “I can’t believe we elected a President who doesn’t believe this is a Christian nation.” Newsflash! America is much more than a Christian nation. It’s a Christian nation and a Jewish nation and a Muslim nation and an atheist nation and a gay nation and straight nation and yes, you’ve heard Obama’s 2004 convention speech before.

Somehow, though, the religious fundamentalists will still turn such a progressive and ground breaking election into a spectacle of hate. Mongering about anti-Christs and Christian Nations prompted me to start some arguments with them about how wrong they are. Needless to say, their first proposition was woefully unprepared, as they had nothing to say to back up the point that he was indeed the opposite of their lord god. (caps intended.)

And when confronted about the Christian Nation part? I bluntly told them that they do not live in a Christian nation, and repeated the Obamamantra from a paragraph ago. (About the multi-ethnic melting pot that is this cesspool of hatred and intolerance we call America.) A majority of them, here in the deep south of Texas, actually responded with this.

“Yeah, so we bring them to Christ!”


It’s not your job to convert us lowly heathens. We’ve made our choices. You’ve made yours. Stop converting people. If they want it, they’ll let you know.


Pun intended.

I mean, what force has been more destructive than the Christian religion? The Crusades, the Biblical Genocides, the Spanish Inquisition, even the Holocaust (by association) were perpetrated by these almighty vicars of faith and good will. Catholic Pedophiles and Evangelist Money Launderers. Ugh. I’m so disgusted.

Atheists are the real angels. Tolerant to the extreme. God is dead, save yourselves.

November 4, 2008

I don’t know that there’s anything else to say right now. Yes. The man that needed to be president is finally going to be. The man we need to take us into the 21st century. The man to bring together all the nations of the world and make it a community of social and economic process.

I don’t have much to write tonight, being a bit overwhelmed by a bunch of things.

But know, this is a night of elation. 

Just can’t wait for Obama’s speech.

Attn: Lovers.
November 2, 2008

For those of you that a) are madly in love and want to be married or b) enjoy looking at great designer wedding cakes and fruit carvings….!!!

My friend and roommate, Chef Mark Flores, has just started his own business blog at Go check this out, he’s a very talented guy. He has a photo gallery of some of his previous works and yes, he is for hire! He’s located in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex but works in a great variety of areas so if you’re interested, drop him an email! (You can also hire me for a wedding string quartet =D)

Once again,

November 4th is here. Will you be successful or guilty?
October 31, 2008

November 4th. I’ve been anticipating this day for almost 2 years. My man, my candidate, Barack Obama, is holding a significant lead and shows no signs of slowing. The electoral map swings heavily in his favor. He’s had one of the most efficient, effective, and mobile campaigns ever.

Why, then, do I feel so apprehensive?

Because we know it can be stolen. It’s happened before, in 2004. That’s why it requires a landslide victory this year.

So let’s assume we get our landslide victory. God save us if we don’t, so let’s keep hope alive for a bit longer. What happens? The democrats control the executive and legislative branches of government. Three supreme court justices positions should be opening soon, allowing for the easy nomination of acceptably liberal candidates. Perhaps then, we will see social progress and economic advancement, domestic and global.

What’s left to fear? The back-to-back victories of George W. Bush haunt our memories. I hear over and over on the airwaves that ‘The Republican brand may be irreparably damaged.’ Well, from my point of view that’s a wonderful thing. We need it to be damaged. We need them ruined. No more shall the hypocritical Christian right control our social agenda. We need the Republican party to stop existing.

Corruption abounds in their little circle-jerk of theft and retheft.  Deregulation led to a bailout which enriched the shrinking number of party faithful. My mind brings up V for Vendetta, the well-timed and underestimated comic book style movie which highlighted so well this dictatotorial regime. In the end, the entire party was destroyed in the symbolic demolition of the British Parliament.

Put Barack Obama in the White House. Don’t sit at home on November 4th. You must vote, no matter where you live. I live in Texas. This state will never be anything but Republican in the electoral college.

But that little teasing thought remains… what if we turned Texas blue? The Republicans are demoralized and democrats are mobilized. Maybe this year is the year all 50 states cry out for a new path. Get out there and vote… and vote straight ticket democratic. Let’s enable Barack Obama to put this country right. Let’s get his efficiency and intelligent to use.

Please go vote. I’m begging you. Take your friends with you. Carpool there. Get everyone. Do it, because if McCain wins, you will regret it. And in 40 years when your grandchildren ask you, “Did you vote for Barack Obama?” you’ll have the pride to stand up and say you did. Just like our grandparents voted for Kennedy. It’s time… don’t fail us now.

My Text Messaging Debacle
October 11, 2008

This is as much for Pegleghippie when he wakes up than me… this story is too awesome for me to wait for when he signs on to AIM.

Let’s start out with the motive here; I’ve dated 4 girls in the last 4 weeks. While that may seem like shallowness that I’m bragging about, it’s really not. You’d understand if you were me, but since you’re not, it’s totally cool for you to judge me.  Alas, four great girls in four weeks. None of them have worked out but I’m thinking this most recent one I’m involved with might. (I hope she doesn’t read this blog article, haha… would that be awkward?)

Anyways, I also have an iPhone, the means for my demise. It’s a really great tool that some people will scorn because it’s popular, but hey. It’s amazingly useful, I actually DO use it for all of its features, regardless of what people may think. And it’s sexy. Girls love it, I promise you. It looks great, works great, has more utility and more awesome points than a regular phone. So don’t knock me on that, cause I will emo rage on you.

And thirdly, I have a connectivity-driven personality, a personality that has given me the opportunity to do the unthinkable. I feel a strange need to be connected to information all the time. I use Twitter for news, from CNN and from people. I use Facebook to see what events are coming up that I want to go to, or to manage my exponentially increasing social life. (Remind me to do my Music History homework!) I use news readers and blog bookmarkers and lots of email.

And I’m apparently capable of sending 5000 text messages in one month.

So this perfect storm of means, motive, and opportunity means I’ve committed a 120 dollar crime. 120 dollars in overage charges on my already expensive AT&T bill. Now, I’m not a fully independent student; I don’t have much time for a work schedule between my practice and class schedule as a Music Performance major. I’m hoping to fit some shifts somewhere in next semester with better schedule planning. But this lack of income means I depend on student loans for my bills. And my student loans are managed by my fiscally brilliant mother to whom I give all the glory. She’s a genius with money. She went from being a single mom with no kids and not enough money to put food on the table to living in a $150,000 house and driving a brand new truck and is fiscally well off.

That said, my mother would have ripped a whole in the space-time continuum to reach her fist through a hole in the temporal cloth and punched me in the face if she found out I had a 200 dollar AT&T bill. She already throws enough money at me to begin with… I feel awful about it, I really do.

BUT! My amazing powers of customer service manipulation strike again. I call AT&T and I’m on hold for 20 minutes. As soon as they pick up, I let them know just how long i was waiting and why I feel that was excessive. Politely, not rudely. They kindly apologize and I tell them I have a huge problem with my phone bill. There’s absolutely no way I sent 167 text messages a day over the course of the last month. (However, as I’ve already threshed out, I’m very capable and did… Oy.) 20 minutes, some good talk, and light-hearted banter later, I’m back down to the standard 80 dollar bill.

I nearly shat myself, folks.

Who won the Debate? Ask the PEOPLE.
September 27, 2008

Last night, I watched the debate on CNN. If you did as well, there were tracking lines at the bottom of the screen that showed how independents, republicans, and democrats were all affected by the candidate speaking. Over the night they each had their ups and downs.

You’ve been reading me and Pegleghippie for a while now, and you know that we both have a thing for Obama. Every time I imagine the prospect of an Obama administration, I get excited. Excited for the idea of economic, foreign and domestic progress. I see the restoration of the image of America and the balancing of our national checkbook. I see social justice, equal rights and opportunities, an optimized education system and national healthcare.

The debates last night highlighted a significantly different approach to foreign policy between the two candidates. We have McCain, defender of the Bush-style “Shoot first, find excuses later” fascism, with no room for diplomacy or cooperation. America is judge, jury, and executioner in this man’s eyes.  Judgement is unnecessary; run head first into the most explosive region in the world, and perform damage control when the dust settles.

And then there’s Obama, who wants to work with our allies and use tough diplomacy, reason, and lastly military action to secure the world from the nuclear threat. A consistent proponent of nuclear disarmament, and known as a damn good listener. I think he focused on the correct aspect of the war in Iraq – the lack of judgement shown by the current administration in the handling and premise of the war itself. Damage control should not be his focus. To use McCain’s own argument against him, focusing on damage control ‘legitimizes’ the current administration’s false premises and blatant lies to the American public. Very smart.

But the post-debate coverage on CNN disappointed me. The first problem with CNN is that it’s a 24-hour news cycle; they need to fill 24 hours of time with news, and it’s impossible. There just isn’t enough meaningful stuff to talk about. They have two different methods for providing ‘filler material.’ Firstly, they repeat themselves over and over, and use different people to talk about the same things. And secondly, they take the news, and rather than objectively lay it out and let people come to their own opinions, they bring in politicos, pundits, biased outside sources and have THEM lay their perspectives out, inevitably neutralizing the previous goal of objectivity.

To apply it to the debates, I thought, and the American people thought, that Obama was the clear winner. McCain did not achieve any objectives. The only worth while “Youtube Moment” of the debate was when Obama repeated and substantiated to Senator McCain that, “You were wrong.” The polls are vastly in favor of Obama but in its attempt to be objective, CNN gave equal weight to John McCain and called it a tie, which the people disagree with.

Reality is what the American people believe. That’s all that matters. A phrase I’ve heard and have enjoyed thinking about recently is, “Reality has a left-leaning biased.” I believe this is entirely true, that the window of what is in the realm of political possibility is going to turn back to the left. 

It’s not CNN’s job to tell us who won the debate. That’s our judgement, that’s our call. Stop filling your 24 hour news cycle with opinions and maybe we’ll get an intellectual president, instead of a stubborn old man, and the 5th worst graduate from the Navy Academy. That’ll be the day.

meeting of the titans
September 3, 2008

by pegleghippie

So I’m going to see Mekhami tomorrow.  Actually I may not see him till friday (my birthday!) but regardless, this weekend will involve the relative physical proximity of two friends who’s relationship is largely digital.

We’re gonna eat some food, hang out in Mekhami’s apartment, see the sites, and…you know i really don’t know what else.  We didn’t like plan anything, but thats probably better (no plans no disappointments right?)

But yeah, on to awesomeness.  And I avoid the hurricane that is headed towards my home.  So life may just be fucking hell when i come back monday, but i’m not thinking that far ahead yet.

Yay travelling!

My Opinion on War Crimes Tribunals.
August 13, 2008

A tribunal indicted a 66-year old Cambodian man on charges that he was a prison warden at a Khmer Rouge prison camp in Phnom Penh.

The 66 year old man looks like he’s been chased his entirely life by demons straight out of hell.

Is this man a threat to society?

Why should we imprison this man?

Why should we imprison the man in recent news, who was a doctor or something at a concentration camp during the Holocaust?

What threat are they?

I would think they are punished enough with the memories of the things they did. These tribunals seem like witch hunts.