My Text Messaging Debacle
October 11, 2008

This is as much for Pegleghippie when he wakes up than me… this story is too awesome for me to wait for when he signs on to AIM.

Let’s start out with the motive here; I’ve dated 4 girls in the last 4 weeks. While that may seem like shallowness that I’m bragging about, it’s really not. You’d understand if you were me, but since you’re not, it’s totally cool for you to judge me. ¬†Alas, four great girls in four weeks. None of them have worked out but I’m thinking this most recent one I’m involved with might. (I hope she doesn’t read this blog article, haha… would that be awkward?)

Anyways, I also have an iPhone, the means for my demise. It’s a really great tool that some people will scorn because it’s popular, but hey. It’s amazingly useful, I actually DO use it for all of its features, regardless of what people may think. And it’s sexy. Girls love it, I promise you. It looks great, works great, has more utility and more awesome points than a regular phone. So don’t knock me on that, cause I will emo rage on you.

And thirdly, I have a connectivity-driven personality, a personality that has given me the opportunity to do the unthinkable. I feel a strange need to be connected to information all the time. I use Twitter for news, from CNN and from people. I use Facebook to see what events are coming up that I want to go to, or to manage my exponentially increasing social life. (Remind me to do my Music History homework!) I use news readers and blog bookmarkers and lots of email.

And I’m apparently capable of sending 5000 text messages in one month.

So this perfect storm of means, motive, and opportunity means I’ve committed a 120 dollar crime. 120 dollars in overage charges on my already expensive AT&T bill. Now, I’m not a fully independent student; I don’t have much time for a work schedule between my practice and class schedule as a Music Performance major. I’m hoping to fit some shifts somewhere in next semester with better schedule planning. But this lack of income means I depend on student loans for my bills. And my student loans are managed by my fiscally brilliant mother to whom I give all the glory. She’s a genius with money. She went from being a single mom with no kids and not enough money to put food on the table to living in a $150,000 house and driving a brand new truck and is fiscally well off.

That said, my mother would have ripped a whole in the space-time continuum to reach her fist through a hole in the temporal cloth and punched me in the face if she found out I had a 200 dollar AT&T bill. She already throws enough money at me to begin with… I feel awful about it, I really do.

BUT! My amazing powers of customer service manipulation strike again. I call AT&T and I’m on hold for 20 minutes. As soon as they pick up, I let them know just how long i was waiting and why I feel that was excessive. Politely, not rudely. They kindly apologize and I tell them I have a huge problem with my phone bill. There’s absolutely no way I sent 167 text messages a day over the course of the last month. (However, as I’ve already threshed out, I’m very capable and did… Oy.) 20 minutes, some good talk, and light-hearted banter later, I’m back down to the standard 80 dollar bill.

I nearly shat myself, folks.